like The Flower Girl and The Puppy Princess.
If I had not had a sister, I would have had more fun as a kid. I would have gone down the pretend play lane.
Instead, I went with the boy play, and was dragged along by a boy's role.
Even when I got into young adult, I played as a girl.
And in those days, I didn't know I was playing, because my main cues were how my mother behaved, and my father's.
As I got older, I used my real body as the reference, to create a persona that was a mix of my mother's and my father's -- mixed and blended into a facsimile of a woman, since I was not a real woman.
There was no time to learn real empathy, real body language, real etiquette, or the language of real relationships.
The first time I met a man who seemed to be someone I could imagine as a husband and a father, I was 23 years old, and he was my first boyfriend.
I knew enough to pick up on his cues and be interested, but not enough to know when he was playing me. I looked into his eyes, and I did not see a woman there.
I could not see the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, so I stepped back and married someone else.
You can read how my story ends here.
So what do I do now?
I am 62 years old, and I have loved men as a wife and mother for 50 years, and I have looked into my eyes, and I see a woman there.
I don't know yet what I will do next, but I know it will be a journey.
In my case, it would mean getting to know what it's like to be a real man.
And it will be about me.
So I have to figure out what the journey means for me.
I think this journey is about the rest of my life.
If I am going to find out what this journey means for me, then I have to figure out what it means for me.
And I have to figure out what I do about myself when I am the role model, and I have to figure out what I do about myself when I'm not the role model.
I have to figure out how I am going to live my life
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